(Another) letter to my manuscript, part the third

Dear hospitalized manuscript (who may or may not be in a coma, I'm not sure at this point),

I had a dream I was beheaded last night (via guillotine) and I'm sure this is because of you. It transpires that everything I've said up until this point was a lie.

I did cut your entire second half.

Yes, I'll paste some of it back in, edit it, and move on...

But I told you before this wouldn't be as severe as the time I rewrote most of you, and that was a lie I didn't mean to tell. It's turning out that I'll be rewriting most of your second half, and adding in new material to your first half (much of which is already rewritten, or so heavily edited it doesn't resemble what it was before).

I was mistaken when I promised those things! I'm not Derek Shepherd, with great hair and a winning smile and the confidence that comes with a medical degree (and the whole being fictional thing). But don't you want to be good enough for other people to look at? I don't want you to have to go out in public with a paper bag over your head. Trust me, it elicits a lot of stares. And not the good kind.

I'm not going to ask you for forgiveness anymore. I'll just sit here and wait for you to see how pretty you look when I'm done with you. Then you'll see I was right. Humph.

Having a bad day? I can make you feel better!

Ever feeling down about your writing? Well, I've got two poets here with me today... and I can guarantee you are not as bad as they are.

Meet poet #1...

Theophilus Marzials! (Is that not a really cool name?)

His poem "A Tragedy" is truly atrocious. I never thought it would occur to anyone that the word "plop" is something one ought to use again and again in a poem.... I was wrong.

An excerpt:

"My thought is running out of my head;
My love is running out of my heart,
My soul runs after, and leaves me as dead,
For my life runs after to catch them -- and fled
They all are every one! -- and I stand, and start,
At the water that oozes up, plop and plop,
On the barges that flop
And dizzy me dead.
I might reel and drop.
Plop.
Dead."

The whole thing: linky linky

And meet poet #2:

William McGonagall! (No relation to the Hogwarts professor.)

All I can say about him is talk about letting yourself be led by rhyme! I suppose the effort was valiant, but... just see for yourself.

An excerpt:

"'Twas about seven o'clock at night,
And the wind it blew with all its might,
And the rain came pouring down,
And the dark clouds seem'd to frown,
And the Demon of the air seem'd to say-
"I'll blow down the Bridge of Tay.""

The whole thing: linky linky

So next time you're feeling particularly awful about your prose, be consoled by the fact that you have NOT overused the word "plop" or said something so brilliant as "the wind it blew" for the sake of not ruining the iambs of your line (like iambs were his only problem). Or, if you have done those things... well... I truly am sorry.

An open letter to my ms, Part the Second

Dear steampunk manuscript,

I'm sorry! Don't look at me like that! *cringe* I KNOW you were just expecting surgery, and then I betrayed your trust and completely gutted you. I didn't mean to, but I just got so carried away and all of a sudden four chapters were gone because they didn't fit as they were written and...

Please forgive me? Don't you like the shiny new prose I've written you instead? The tighter plot, the characters whose actions now make (more) sense?

I do love you...

THE IRON WITCH book review

So you may or may not know, but I completely heart Karen Mahoney. She's awesome.

But this is not why I loved her book. If I did not know Karen at all, I would still have adored THE IRON WITCH. (You, person reading this, should go buy it. RIGHT NOW. Seriously, either get on Amazon and order it, or drive/walk/run to the bookstore and buy it.)

Lucy the Kitten commands it be so.

THE IRON WITCH is a YA urban fantasy novel centering around Donna Underwood, a high school student branded a freak by her classmates because of extraordinary strength due to the iron and silver tattoos covering her hands and forearms. The tattoos are alchemical--the result of an attack by malicious fae creatures and the magic used to save her.

The story is fast paced like the best action movie (I love action movies.) Only a few pages go by before Donna is swept up in mystery and danger. There are a few nice down-time moments, in which Donna has heartwarming conversations with her best friend Navin, or steamy interaction with half-fey love interest Xan. The book flies by in the best way possible--and by that I mean it is impossible to put down. (I carried it around with me the day I got it and said "LOOK! LOOK AT THIS! SHE'S MY INTERNET FRIEND!" I got several odd looks and people saying "Oh, well that's nice, Alexandra." I don't know if they believed me.)

I think my favorite thing about the book was Donna. Don't get me wrong, I adore paranormal romance, but it was nice to read a book that was centered around the protagonist, her abilities, and her intelligence. She has a level head, genuine emotions, and does so many things for herself I was a little jealous (I want magically strong hands!) Understandably she felt like an outcast at being so marked as different (because living around alchemists for her entire life wasn't different enough) but she also used her ability when she needed to, without waffling over it, without feeling weird. She didn't need Xan to save her, because she was more than capable, and in fact, when Navin is kidnapped, it's up to Donna to save him. Love it like I can't explain. Makes my feminist heart all smiley.

The backstory and worldbuilding were also such a pleasure to read. Karen gives us hints of the world Donna lives in, but doesn't dump information on us that doesn't pertain directly to the plot. I'm already imagining so many ways that this stuff will come into play in future books, and I cannot wait to find out more details about the Order of the Dragon (one part of this secret society of alchemists), alchemy itself, and Donna's heritage (and her mother!!!) And faeries are my favorite supernatural creature, so I can't wait to see more of them. Plus, there's this whole setup with the doors between the worlds being closed, and faeries getting trapped in all sorts of places, and it's just so tantalizing.

Karen's prose is minimalist and tight--no words wasted, and the words she does use are exactly the ones you need. This coming from someone who is wordy like a Victorian novelist, I really enjoyed this aspect of the book as well! It really reminded me that this was an urban fantasy more than anything else. And the excerpts from Donna's journal that were interspersed throughout the chapters were written in such a clear, distinct voice, I felt I really knew her by the end of the book--like if she knocked on my door right now, we'd already be friends. Because of her voice and her very distinct interactions with each character, I also had a feel for the supporting cast; they didn't blur at all, I knew who every single person was.

A fantastic addition to my YA faerie fantasy collection next to Lesley Livingston, Melissa Marr, and Holly Black.